May 2013
47 posts
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Teen Who Was Expelled From School For Science... →
heirofmedusa:
Kiera Wilmot made an honest mistake, but the police were trying to throw away her life with a felony. After the community stood up for the girl, the charges were dropped, and she was allowed to move on with her life. Well, her greatness is really starting to shine, as she was recently granted
WELP. LMFAO
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demeaniac:
demeaniac:
“No homo” I whisper, filled with bewilderment. Indeed, there are only Australopithecine around. It’s the Pleistocene epoch.
Fuck you guys, I read a whole Wikipedia article for this.
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metallickah:
unrealthings:
batreaux:
this is my linen closet, *shows you some towels* and this is my lenin closet *shows you communist propaganda*
#Bed Bath and Bolsheviks
#communism works on paper but not on tile or marble
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narfnin:
awesomephilia:
Whiteboards are remarkable.
I HAD TO REBLOG THIS A SECOND TIME BECAUSE I JUST REALIZED ITS A PUN AND NOW I FEEL STUPID
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risainwonderland:
october-afternoons:
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
im going to open a literature-themed coffee/dessert shop called “Lord of the Pies” and some of the flavor names will be:
the grape gatsby.
lime & punishment.
the adventures of blackberry finn.
the crepes of wrath.
the catcher in the pie.
war and quiche.
around the world in eighty buffets.
20,000 leagues under...
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Jurassic Park's Dinosaur Sound Effects Were... →
So, uh, this is an uncomfortable one. You know the dinosaur sounds from Jurassic Park that framed the way you imagined every dinosaur ever? They were actually recordings of animals boning, or just about to bone.
The velociraptor raspy bark, a basic means of communication for the dinosaurs in the film, were actually cut from raunchy turtle bits. “It’s somewhat embarrassing, but when...
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lolsofunny:
why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom
because the P is silent
also because they’re dead
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jaclcfrost:
your icon shows who you are inside
I am totally ok with being a rainbow-colored, bearded, old explorer-dude.
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20 Creative Bookshelves
ijustwanttohugdavidtennant:
brightburningred:
1. Yin-Yang
2. READ
3. Upside-down Shelf
4. Table-inset Shelf
5. Falling Books Shelf
6. Pac Man Shelf
7. Bed Shelf
8. Mario Shelf
9. Map of the USA Shelf
10. Shelf with a Reading Nook
11. Tree Branch Shelf
12. Hanging Binders
13. Tree Shelf
14. Reading Pod Shelf
15. Geometric Shelf
16. Nest Shelf
17....
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zombiesinthesnow asked: (Keep in mind that this one is meant to be said aloud) That shirt very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be cumming too. #horrificallybadpickuplines
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365limerickproject asked: Are you a stripper, because I've got a pole you can dance on. (Actually overheard in a bar)
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messier51 asked: I don't know about bad (it probably is?) but how about a nerdy pick up line... I wish you and me were in the discrete metric so you could never be more than a distance of one away from me. (It's either romantic or really creepy and I can't decide which.)
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Anonymous asked: Hey, you're a slut if you don't want to sleep with me. #horrificallybadpickuplines
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Anonymous asked: Hey baby. If I woke up in your bed with a rubber duck and a spatula, would you let correlation imply causation?
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isaaclaheyfeels:
impostoradult:
peckishmoon:
turntechgoddamnit:
Man, if Satan ever starts losing his hair there will be Hell toupée
I think this may actually be the worst pun of all time. Congratulations.
You spelled ‘best’ wrong.
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Societal expectations of sex don't make any sense
salmiakkivodka:
If dudes are expected to have a lot of sex
But ladies are expected to stay virgins until marriage
But homosexuality is bad
I’m really confused who dudes are supposed to be having all that sex with
“‘Cause there’s an inverse relationship between respect and sects.
I’m talking ‘bout religious sects like a Mormon sect,
That says you can’t have sex with members of different...
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Reblog if you want your followers to leave...
valeria2067:
tfp-sg-optimus:
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To be honest, I just really wanted to write...
I courted a girl named Amelia
Who liked tv memorabilia.
“Keep both hands” she had warned
“Off my Jeff Dunham hoard!
‘Cause if you break something ‘I’ll keel ya’!”
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April 2013
67 posts
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I'm going to make a "they care" page on my blog.....
